You know I always have a story to tell, I suppose life is really all about a collection of stories that help us to connect with each other and learn lessons for the future, maybe that’s why I love sharing them. 

Growing up I was never a shy child even my introvert character didn’t show until I was well into my teenage years. That means whenever something needed to be done I would volunteer myself. If I didn’t volunteer, my peers would volunteer me. I always felt as if I failed to hide in a crowd. As mellow toned as I am I was just easy to pick out of a group. As I grew older I turned to become more aware of myself and more unflattering parts of me that I began to hide in my corner and wish no one could even notice me. I got aware of my body shape, my disorderly family structure, my black race, my lack of branded clothes and started shrinking. I shrank in school because someone got better grades then me. I shrank because someone’s home was better than mine, I shrank because someone dressed better. 

I’d like you to notice that I was born confident but it’s the things I consumed with my eyes, ears , note that kept diminishing what God had already deposited in me. This made me realise that as people we are all confident. Our only challenge with confidence is the things we have consumed or paid attention to that have affect ok how we see ourselves and how we think of ourselves. I realised that as the kids in my area called me Mcondo :’)  I changed how I dressed and to accommodate the hiding of mcondo. As they ridiculed my teeth I smiled less. So with every statement said I found reason to hide away and dim my light. While trying to accommodate all that was being said I kept shrinking. As time went on what started as trying to hide the things I was teased about grew to a fear to be seen or noticed and led to depleted confidence. 

To get over this fear as you see me today is:

  1. on-going work of reprogramming my mind first away from the things that were said about me and I believed them. I had to realise that another person’s opinion of me does not form part of who I am. I’m reminded of Jesus asking his disciples “who do people say I am?” He received many answers and until he heard one that resonated with what he believed himself to be. The words didn’t make him but he already was even before Peter said anything. I realised how important it is for me to believe something about me first before consuming anyone’s opinion of me. 
  1. A constant reaffirming of myself that I am what God says I am and also I am what I believe I am. This action is a direct contrary to how I feel at times but affirming is critical for confidence. You have got to tell yourself all that you wish someone could tell you. 
  1. I had to develop the courage to do it scared. Confidence takes practice and I knew I won’t have it if I don’t practice by doing what made me uncomfortable. Being a public speaker took some work of allowing myself to be uncomfortable until I was comfortable. 
  1. I knew that to be able to stand confidently you have to have knowledge therefore I trained my mind to read and consumed information that made me confident to speak up in rooms full of people who probably have more than me. Consumption of knowledge creates confidence. 
  1. I started taking confident steps on daily basis. I know many ladies will love this one but have you felt how the right shoes just releases the correct amount of confidence. Ok I’m being modest by shoe literally the whole outfit has something to do with confidence. How you look often informs how you feel.

Being confident is your winning ticket, when everyone in the room has the same degree, the same amount of money has hoses and cars of a similar nature the only think that sets anyone apart is how confident they are in the room. When everyone has a copy of the same song the star will be the one able to confidently express it beyond meaning