I literally had to sit down and gain absolute consciousness as I write this because the very topic challenges me internally.

It is a desire for everyone of us to feel and find the love so deep for ourselves. One can even say that above the search for a gold treasure pot we search for love and not just love but one so deep that it fulfills our every need. Truth be told abundance of love can survive lack of money but abundance of money struggles to survive lack of love. I need not go into details, but I personally don’t subscribe to the notion of love is money but more on the love overcomes all. So yes, you can say it I’m a sucker for love huh  Having said that I’m drawn to share with you my idea of a love so deep in the hope that you can recognise it in your life and cherish it with all your might. 

I am a mother of two boys. They are the centre of me.  when I held my first born in my arms and looked at him for the first time, I remember feeling fearful and nervous that I now have a baby. The sense of responsibility overcame me, and I went autopilot on caring and making sure he was ok, oblivious of the love I had for him. One day He fell from the bed  yes, I dropped the baby and as he screamed, I felt an internal cut in my belly that I had never felt before. All of a sudden, emotion of a love so deep were awoken, from there I knew I loved him but not just heart love but deep in my gut love. 

This kind of love is unconditional, which means it loves no matter the circumstance. It has no reason to flow but flows any way. There are few people in our lives that we can share that kind of love with. It can exist between a husband and wife, parent and child, siblings, extended family, and friends selectively. 

I’m certain that knowing this kind of love can heal even the most fatal of wounds. It is then a discovery of mine that you can never share this kind of love with anyone unless you share it with yourself. Loving yourself so deep that you make tough decisions for you out of love. Loving yourself enough to sacrifice certain pleasures because they are in contradiction to the love you feel for yourself. Changing circle of people because they are harmful to the love you feel for yourself. Loving you in this manner gives you courage to set the bar in terms of how you want to be loved and a lover who doesn’t conform can confidently be excused. The self-love that is not selfish but is self-conscious. If you are feeling less love right now, may you search within and find just a spark of what is love hidden so deep within you. 

I sit here also on awe of the incomparable love of God and the amount of sacrifice it took to show that He is not a creator ready to destroy but always looks to find a loving solution between ourselves and him.